my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
