I want to have your abortion
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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