Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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