By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
