I am spending my child support on dildos
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
