He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
