i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
