thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
youre lurking in front of me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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