My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
