I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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