Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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