i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
