Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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