So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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