I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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