Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
