we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
