but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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