Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
