you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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