We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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