Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
