dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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