Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
