Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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