I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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