Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There r osticjed everywhere
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
