1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
