Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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