Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
