I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
