Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
