I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
