so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
