Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
