how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
