I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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