I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
