it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
