fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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