I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
