Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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