i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
