he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
be right there i have to get my cape
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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