biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
