I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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