Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
