This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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