Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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