Nicole vs. Life
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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