i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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