i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
