What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
