So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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