My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
