Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
