i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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