Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
