Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
