But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
