Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
