Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
